Quotes By Jeph Jacques
Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.
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You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.
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The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
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'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.
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Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.
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That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.
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